That is just about as accurate is it can get.

Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s








You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.



I did both…image

i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now

You kinky son of a bitch.

I love you all. I love this website..

I will admit to contemplating putting something distinctly finger-like in this—but since it was my daughters I refrained.

(Source: manda)

The city needs to enact a program …

where those caught illegally parking by anyone with a camera and internet access can take a picture and upload the image and the vehicle owner will receive a ticket through the mail. Much like speed cameras. And no excuses will be tolerated. Claim you weren’t the one driving your car, give me the vital information of the person who was. Someone would be responsible—always to fall back on the registered owner. You say it wasn’t you? It’s your damn car, choose wisely who you let drive the thing.

I want to start a website with pictures of cars parked illegally. Parked in no parking. Taking up more than one spot. And you know what? I wouldn’t edit out license plate. Fuck that. If I could get a picture of the inconsiderate driver, I’d add that too.

I wish I held enough sway to influence people to take action against selfish people. I see a subplot in a story where some personality (radio, blog, talk show) that puts out a call to arms, as it were, bringing violent action against this stupid behavior. Molotov cocktail through a driver side window would be a great deterrent.

This all comes about from we were at Starbucks and some guy in a Range Rover parked in the no parking spot between the two handicapped parking spots. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the douche-bag left his small penis machine running while he went in and ordered his coffee. It wasn’t until later after we left that the thought occurred to me that I should have taken a picture of it so I could share with the world.


Trinity - July 16th, 1945

I have a book waiting to be read about Einstein and Oppenhimer.



Since the release of Blackfish, a documentary which chronicled the troubled life of the orca Tilikum (above), in 2013, the percentage of Americans opposed to cetacean captivity has risen to 50% (up 11% from a 2012 poll). SeaWorld’s attendance has dropped 13% in the first quarter of 2014, with earnings down 11%.  The Blackstone Group, which purchased SeaWorld in 2009, reduced their holdings of SeaWorld’s stock to 25%.  The National Aquarium in Baltimore is now considering ending their practice of displaying dolphins and retiring their animals to a sea pen.  The ‘Blackfish effect’ has changed so many lives, but what about its star, Tilikum?

Despite a year of SeaWorld’s costly PR campaigns, YouTube videos and commercials touting their exceptional animal care, Tilikum and the other orcas at SeaWorld’s parks haven’t seen any real improvement in their lives.  Their tanks haven’t been expanded, broken family bonds have not been repaired and Tilikum the deadly 12,000 pound bull orca is still floating like a cork in the dank pool that made him famous.  After a year of protests, reduced turnstile clicks and constant attacks on their social media platforms, SeaWorld still hasn’t gotten the message and Tilikum, the one being whose existence should have been impacted the most by the Blackfish effect, remains untouched by its message.

SeaWorld is never going to volunteer to do the right thing by Tilikum or any of their 28 other whales, it’s up to us to #emptythetanks.

Gif sources: [x][x]


See if we ask you to be in the Pollyanna, Mr. Zombie.



See if we ask you to be in the Pollyanna, Mr. Zombie.



When people criticize my favorite book


Empty seats all around me.



I may have a problem…..

My sex drawer

You might be my new best friend. I cannot get enough of the good old Taco Bell hot sauce.

I have always thought she was gorgeous.

I am so entirely and thoroughly done with this shit …

As things get worse, and i can feel my body failing, and i have to deal with the pittying looks and “why don’t you go sit down” comments from my wife, i get more and more unhappy with my existence.

Its difficult to take my boss seriously when he is discussing how to play some stupid fruit game on his phone.