February 2012
55 posts
Work meme (Juliet, you might not want to read...
I work at company that manufactures circuit boards. My main job here, what I do most of the day, is I take said circuit board off the assembly line, put it into a machine and press the start button. I then sit and watch as the computer checks the board that all the components are in the correct place and going the correct way and have the correct amount of solder and on and on. The hardest part of...
The day before yesterday I asked my wife is she...
(I figured I should get it out there before someone else does) and she responded she would like to. Then she asked what I wanted to do. I told her I would figure out something. I would take care of it.
She told me last night she did not have very high hopes that we would actually do something. Not being a bitch (even though it sounds like it in text form) but there have been several times that we...
Do any of you live
Do any of you live in the 480 area code? And he so, did you give me a call? Just wondering.
Almost done. Thank God!
Almost done. Thank God!
I have only twelve hours of work . . .
until the weekend. Eight today, and five tomorrow. I would give just about anything to do it all tonight.
Get this shit over with.
I saw a job posting on Craigslist that I know I...
Film editor. I would love to work in film.
That would great. I have done some film projects at school, and really liked them. I had a lot of fun working with the camera.
Oh yeah, did I mention that this particular job is in the adult industry.
Okay, maybe not what I want to do. Not that I am opposed to porn so much, but I just don’t want to put that on my resume.
I have realized over the last few days . . .
that I am becoming increasingly unhappy with all the time alone.
It seems as though, after enough time, I do miss those that are normally around me.
And oh yeah, the next ten fucking hours cannot go fast enough.
It did seem to go pretty quick yesterday though so maybe today will be the same.
Just ten hours.
That is all.
Fuck it . . .
too distracted
too unhappy
too remorseful
to write
I’m gonna be a loser
and play Batman for a bit.
You know, for better or worse . . .
I just wish this shit would end.
I feel so distracted lately.
Concentrating on writing is hard.
Same with my other obligations.
Conversation as we lie in bed last night . . .
Me: I love you.
Her: Where did that come from?
Me: I don’t know, we hardly ever say it anymore.
Her: Well, I know you do, whether you say it or not.
Me: It’s just nice to say it or hear it sometimes.
Then silence.
I wonder if her deflection is an indication.
If I should just take a hint.
Please please please God . . .
let these next ten hours fly by in a blink.
Oh for the love, a blink is all I ask.
Have I told you lately just how much I hate swing shift?
More than just about anything.
Truthful Tuesday
I am unhappy.
Not my usual angry unhappiness.
I am sad about the state of my relationship.
I wish things could be as they were.
When I got home from work last night . . .
I told her that I was glad she was going with my brothers step-daughter, just to try and be supportive. Cannot help but feel a little let down that I was the second choice (if that high on her list), just another indication of my status and the decline of our relationship.
Also, I won’t mention us going and doing something just to see if she ever does. Or how many other nights out she goes...
Wow
everything I could be wrong with this morning, I was.
I get the feeling she hates me and we are just existing together now.
There has to be a story here somewhere.
P.S.—I wish I could take back the last three months. A cosmic do over.
I just remembered that last saturday night when we...
you know, that time we ended leaving pissed at each other, it was supposed to be a celebration.
Yeah, once again I fucked it up.
I shouldn’t be allowed to be in relationship.
I don’t think this relationship will last a whole lot longer in the grand scheme of things.
I’m not sure just how I feel about that yet.
Oh yeah, Truthful Tuesday a little early.
That was quickly changed . . .
after talking to her about the trip, she said we could go instead, later when she had trouble contacting the person that showed interest in going, I said “don’t worry about it” and just like that. No protesting from her. And once again, she is going to spend time away from her family to have fun, and to hell with us.
Same old shit in my sad fucked up life.
My wife decided to post on facebook that she wants...
because it is on the weekend and the concert closer in Portland in on a Monday night. It would involve spending the night and i know she wanted to get someone else to go with her to split the cost of the hotel room, but it would have been nice for me to fucking get away for once. I haven’t been on an actual vacation in years. Not that it would have been a vacation, but it would have been...
And here I thought that she was going to be pissed...
instead she apologized for being out so late.
I just don't care anymore.
She is out. Away from her family, because we are apparently too pathetic and live such boring lives that she has to get away. And I just want it to be over.
I wish this hell would end.
What the fuck is with tumblr tonight?
it keep saying that there is new posts, I click refresh, and there is nothing.
Oh wait, that must be caused by the whole Missing-e thing. Damn that plugin that does things better than they can.
I think the reason I continue to watch The...
is because the Todd Margret character is so fucking stupid (along the rest of the characters) I actually feel a little better about myself.
This is how anal my wife is . . .
she went out to karaoke tonight, and has spend I don’t know just how many hours carefully searching and selecting songs she wants to sing.
Then she printed out a list of the songs to take with her.
Wooo way to go, living on the edge.
We went out to happy hour tonight, and ended up leaving after eating almost everything we ordered, with her feeling guilty and me pissed off at her.
...
Yeah, and that's not like a cruel fucking joke . ....
please keep telling me that you don’t care if I sleep with someone else.
Ha ha, jokes on fucking me.
A cording to Google analytics . . .
with a total of seven visits on my portfolio site, the average time on the site is a whopping twenty nine seconds.
I feel so proud.
I live in fear . . .
of accidentally blocking someone.
We talked this morning some . . .
she pretty much made it plain that at some point she would NEED to do something about her desire. No matter if I was involved. I told her that, I felt I was doing her a disservice staying together. I could not give her what she wants or would be able to let her go and do it herself. I did not say, that for me to just let her go like that, to see her going out with other people would kill me...
Well fuck . . .
I can just see it now. Every damn post is going to be highlighted.
The only ones that are going to stand out are the ones that don’t have one.
There are three of us that work on swing shift. One guy is leaving at six, and I hope (pray to God) that the other guy calls in sick. There has to be at least two people at work in case someone gets hurt. I would just have to leave at six then.
I...
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We suffer, and slave, and expire . . .
that’s it.
Okay people . . .
I need a freaking change. Something has got to be different in my life.
Same old shit.
Same old unhappy.
Same old same old.
As we used to say: I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.
And for the love of God, would someone please go with karaoke with my wife.
PLEASE.
I will just guess that karaoke is not near as popular anymore. If it ever truly was.
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She's not really into bdsm . . .
prettypurplepancake replied to your post: Okay as an addendum to last nights conversation …
Just sounds like your wife is more into girls and S&M…Than concentrating on what she has at home…Makes me sad.
not into the whole culture of it or anything like that. There are just a few things that she is curious about. She couldn’t ever do the ball gag thing for instance. Or the black...
Okay as an addendum to last nights conversation ....
her and my wife were talking about bdsm things, that this girl used to be into and she had mentioned nipple clamps and tasers. I knew my wife had mentioned, very briefly, very passingly, something about electricity. She said, when they were chatting about it, she got a little bit of a shiver with the mention of nipple clamps and tasers working together.
Yeah, never had much of an interest in it....
And that is one of the reasons . . .
I am generally not a happy person.
If you haven’t read the last post I posted, skip it until you read the one before it, then come back. Maybe it’ll help.
There is nothing more maddening, i have found,...
Shall I be compeltly open and honest? Sure why not, it just might be cathartic.
I’ll try to keep it brief.
First off, there are times that I am pretty horny. Let’s be blunt shall we? Not the achingly frustration as in puberty, but still youngish level, a lot younger than my forty year old frame should feel. I do think about sex a lot. Probably one of the reasons I liked going to...
My wife chatted with her friend, that one girl . ....
that they flashed each other.
Yeah, remember her?
After I got home, she mentioned talking with her and told me a bunch of stuff. Not that there was really anything bad. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t one of those posts. She talked, I asked questions and such. I knew that there wasn’t really an attraction on the girl’s side to my wife, even though my wife has made it...
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I am in a snacky mood . . .
anyone have anything for me to snack on?
